Monologue Filled Flashbacks
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: yeah.. A sure stupid parody type thing -that is only a parody because it fits into no other category- for chap 508. Don't like bad jokes? Don't read.


**Oh noes, Kisa-sempai! T-T Why Kishi? well I understand why he had to die, but couldn't he at least have gone out in a blaze of glory instead of being eaten? And in case you didn't know, what Kisame said about unborn shark-pups eating each other is true, the biggest and the strong pup hatches first and quickly gets to work devouring his siblings. Omnomnomnom. **

**Warnings: Horrible jokes, Foul language, blah.**

**Pairings: None.**

**Thankies To : Yuti-chan (Now that brings back old memories), Uchiha Sasuke for his/her(I didn't check) favorite of a story(I thank everyone), and QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto ,TvTokyo and VIZ media does. If I did own it though, you can gurantee that Madara would've shown up sooner and Kisame wouldn't have died.**

**000000**

Splintered wood flew all around as Kisame broke free of his -midevil thing that nobody remembers the name of- confines.

Shocking the Leaf and cloud ninja and sending Glasses-guy flying backwards. Defying the laws of Manga gravity nearly as much as when Naruto body slammed the Kyuubi.

'_Damn he's strong, who would've thought that wood wouldn't hold up against water?~!,'_ Yamato thought fratically trying to grasp the situation.

Anybody that knows about trees would know that, I guess.

"Damnit!," Gai cursed, cleching his fist, "You've been Dynamic Entry'd upside the head, survived my Morning Peacock and Afternoon tiger, zip it Naruto," he cut off the blond who had begun to make a joke, "And you just sent a flurry of splinters into your own body! Would you just die already?~!,"

"No! We must take him alive! I don't care if he is a giant shark man and is about to keel over! We need him alive!," Aoba (Glasses-guy) yelled loudly.

Remember when I called Naruto dumb -which still stands-? yeah well I take that back, you are officially the idiot this chapter Mr. Swiss-Army-knife of the leaf.

Kisame clapped his hands and readied a jutsu.

"I agree with the...AUTHOR!," Green-spandex man said going in to hit the shark ninja.

When Gai was in reach Kisame puked up a bunch of water necessary for his Water Prison technique, creating a shield around himself.

Projectile-Vomiting-No-Jutsu! Yeah that was disgusting.

'_He like, blocked my attack, like oh noes!,'_ Gai's hand made contact with the surface of the water, I wouldn't be suprised if he broke his hand.

He realed back when Kisame summoned a pack of sharks in the bubble of water with him.

Oh I don't like were this is heading.

The ex-mist ninja released his breath, and turned towards Naruto and Yamato (I think that's what he was doing,) Sharks swimmed by his body.

"That's water prison Jutsu!,"

really don't like the direction this is pointing.

"It's alright! It doesn't matter how strong he is! he can't escape! I'll get him," A branch grew out of the ANBU's hand.

'_I may be weak...But I still have enough energy, to have a flashback,' _Kisame...Is now wearing eyeshadow, Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybaleen (I don't know how to spell it XD)

_Flashback!_

_"It appears you where right..Itachi," Itachi turned his head to look at the shark man as he walked up behind him, "I will be your new partner..I am Kisame Hoshigaki," Wait so you guys have met before? I want to see that too! Come on don't leave us out in the cold and let us assume!_

_"Formerly of the hidden Mist village," If you couldn't tell by the slash through his MIST headband, "Pleased to meet you, Itachi Uchiha formerly of the hidden Leaf," Aw so he really was a sweet guy after all. Like the Iron Giant if he was a mass murderer._

_"I've heard rumors about how you killed your clansmen..Pretty hardcore if I do say so myself, I'm assuming that's why I was picked to be your partner," _

_"..." Yes Itachi don't break your emo-streak just let him do all the talking for you. _

_"It's impossible to put into words...The feeling you get when you slaughter your brethren, like a million volts of electricity flowing through your body...Eh, Itachi?," Eh Disney Co.?_

_"...You're a demonic little blue man aren't you?," Itachi finally broke his silence, "You say you know me well...But what about yourself?...You were lost in the mist, a wandering rogue unable to find a place for himself..." _

_I'm afraid I don't follow. Are you talking about Kisame, Superman, Spiderman, The incredible Hulk, Tank Girl or SALT?_

_Kisame's eyes narrowed as he propped his Samehada against the small uchiha's shoulder, "Allow me to totally fuck up this moment with some poorly translated trivia," (which I will re-write so it's correct.)_

_"Sharks start out as eggs, but are born live. They incubate and hatch in the womb..But like with people, There is always one pup that develops faster than the others, it is the first that hatches and to double its chances of survival, it cannibalizes its smaller siblings that have yet to hatch...Sharks are natural born predators the second they enter the world...As of today you and I are fellow members of the Akatsuki, so be careful..." Kisame paused to let a vicious looking grin stretch across his face, "Of me,"_

_Itachi's eye morphed into his Mangekyo, "Same goes to you," You know what? After the seventh time I've seen that happen, it was no longer cool just annoying._

_"Of course, I'd rather we got along and not end up being each others final battle," don't worry about that you two get along well for years._

_The ex-knoha ninja stood, "Those who turn their backs to their comrads are sure to die a terrible death, be prepared," I guess Sasuke is pretty much screwed then huh? Karma is a real bitch sometimes._

_The great demon sword wielder gave a chuckle, "Then both of us are already pretty much branded as terrible men then," No you're cooler than Sas-uke_

_"No..We are humans, not fish," yes sir Mr. GURU, "We don't know what kind of people we truly are until the moment before our deaths..As death comes to embrace you, you will realize what you are. That's what death is, don't you think?,"_

_End Flashback_

I know Itachi trying to be all wise and stuff but that makes no sense, I can't believe I'm saying this but I disagree with him.

"Yo man the world must be ending if the rabid Uchiha stalker says she doesn't agree with the bishi fit for the cover of a Guns And Roses album," Killer-bee said.

Don't you have a fight to watch?

"Nah, it's going from left to right and...Oh shit,"

'_Well Itachi..'_ The shark nin thought his hands brought together, '_It seems that in the end,'_ his summoning sharks opened their mouths, '_I'm not such a bad person after all,'_ his sharks began to maul him.

Nooooooo Kisame! The hell where you thinking?~! Just call for Madara! Oh wait no, no that wouldn't work even though he's only villianous fourty percent of the time. It appears his fate was sealed.

Naruto and Yamato's eyes widened in shock as blood pooled into the water bubble.

Everyone was speechless... YES! NO MONOLOGUE! *happy dance!*

The water bubble suddenly burst sending the sharks flying before poofing away.

"I can't believe it...He made his own sharks eat him..He was too weak, he knew he couldn't escape..To think that this is how Kisame Hoshigaki, The monster of the hidden Mist, would meet his end," Yamato said.

Damn spoke too soon...And wasn't Zabuza the _demon_ of the Mist?

" Do you think he's really dead?," Motoi asked. No, I'm sure it's just another trick, you know like when he and Zetsu switched places.

samehada's scales clicked together as she/he crawled/scuffled over to the cloud-ninja, "This poor guy's cryin' like a baby, He's dead this time and I don't mean maybe," Killer-bee began to pet the sword. (The rhyme wasn't half bad)

Well shit there goes my theory. *sniffle* I-I need a moment.

"But he did it so we wouldn't get the information about them. It seems, even people in the Akatsuki act for the sake of their comrads," Sasuke is not one of those people I hope you know that naru-kit.

"He really was one stubborn shark/bug, truly a worthy opponent! He lived and died like a real shinobi!," Gai patted the gennin's shoulder, "Kisame Hoshigaki, I will never forget you!," I guess in this series if you have a proper death you're considered a good guy? What the fuck.

"Those Akatsuki guys really are hardcore...You know except for White Zetsu," So true, even Madara thought Black Zetsu was cooler.

"A moment of silence please,"

_**Oh Danny boy**_

_**The pipes, the pipes are calling**_

"I SAID A MOMENT OF SILENCE DUMBASS!," A kunai was flung into the air.

Sorry, sorry, geez didn't have to hit me just wanted the people reading to feel a little emotional, he was BEAST.

"Please with how poorly written this thing is people are probably crying about how they'll never get the five minutes they spent reading this back. Plus you sound like a dying cat,"

..Moving on.

"Okay enough of that, back to the plot," yeah sure Gai just ignore that big puddle of blood that seems to be creeping towards you.

"It must be about what we're doing here," Again how would that help _them_? It's long over," We should confirm what he wrote, find out what they're trying to learn,"

"Good idea!," Gai pulled open the scroll, "Who cares about OCIA or booby traps we just need to read the crucial informa-," a spray of water hit him. Ha!

"This pressure! It's water prison!," yes Kisa-sempai strikes from beyond the beyond!

"It was booby trapped!," No shit Sherlock, "SHARK!," Aoba flailed backwards.

The shark caught the scroll floating in the water and swam off in its own personal bubble of water . If a shark can get its own water blob how come I can't get my own bathroom?

"It's heading towards the ocean!," I thought it was a sea, that's what you said last time.

"Ahh! Stupid shark! The waters like concrete!," That's the magic of physics Naru-kit.

"Samehada! We could use a little help over here!,"

"Gai hang on!,"

Awesome! Maybe Spandex man might die after all! I mean..Oh no, Gai might die.

**Somewhere else?**

Rain pelted down on two cloaked figures standing on floating ruins in a choppy sea.

"You really don't want to tell me were you've hidden Nagato, do you?," The masked man asked.

"I'd rather give up myy life than have you defile Nagato's grave you wrinkly old hippie," Konan answered seriously.

***Plays Cowboy Music* **_**Wha wha wha.**_

"Not even if I say something I never say like..Please?," *record scratch* What?

"Not a chance," Oh come on since when does he ever say stuff like that?..Well he has been strangely understanding everytime we've seen him, Still though.

"Pretty please with sugar on top," I'll find him for you Mada-sama.

"Mm-mm," The blue haired woman shook her head.

"Pretty please with sugar, rainbows and frosting on top?," do you have Skittles? (taste the rainbow)

"well I do like frosting and rainbows..But it's still a no,"

"I guess that means we have to fight now huh?," It's raining, what's she going to do bury you under a mountain of papermache? The worst thing she could throw out is a super big paper cut. (Sorry it had to be made)

"Guess so.."

"..." The wind wipped through harshly as the two stared at each other.

"..I'm going to get my ass kicked," Just remember Konan, What doesn't kill you ups your insurance premiums.

**0-In Heaven!-0**

Everyone stared wide eyed at Kisame who had just shown up, again, in a large blast of blood colored smoke.

"So, you're back here again," Minato said warily.

"Yup," The shark nin grunted.

"Hn are you actually here this time or is it a Zetsu clone again?," Itachi put his hands behind his head.

"It's really me this time, Killer-Bee serenaded(?) Samehada with a rap about me being dead so it must be true,"

"You know fans are going to be pissed right?," Hidan said snarkily (I don't think that's a word)

"What are they going to do? Kidnap Kishi and make him bring me back to life?,"

"Good point,"

In the retirment home next door an old man had just clicked on the TV and switched the channel over to 'Earth News Tonight' The only news station that gives you 24/7 updates on Earth and all the people on it. (Makes you think doesn't it?)

"We're here at the apartment of Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of the famed series Naruto, where a wild pack of rabid Kisame fan-girls have just taken the man hostage, They are threatening him with chicken wire, a blowtorch and TNT fireworks," A man in a grey suit explained into a mic.

(TNT fireworks are nothing compaired to M80's. That shit will knock your fillings _out_.)

"We asked this passer by what they thought of the situation,"

The screen cut to the blurred out face of a woman, "well I...Wait he killed Kisame? I wonder if they need any help up there?,"

"WE DO!," A rope ladder fell out of the third story window, the mystery woman quickly ran over and shimmied up it.

"U-um we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor,"

_"Mom! mom! We want Ovaltine!,"_

_"Well alright dear..O-oh um GRR! I can't seem to get a grip, hold on one second,"_

_*BANG!* *BANG!* *CRASH*, "Oh dear,"_

_"Ovaltine..You can never get the jar open,"_

The old man grunted, "Even in heaven we still get these stupid Infomercials, I want to see George Clooney!,"

I forgot he was still alive.

**End:End:End:End**

***spins around on my computer chair* Haha! Kishi forgot to put the slash through Itachi's headband when he was talking during the flashback. Page 9 panel 6. Anyway I can't wait until this thursday! We'll finally get to see Konan and Mada-sama fight! it's like a two for one!..**

**And...Does anybody know when the Fourth Shippuden movie will be subbed? I wanna watch it! I know I've read and heard all this stuff saying that it's nothing more than an animated Fanfic but I like fanfics! Plus a super kawaii chibi Kakashi and (regular) Minato is in it!**

**Thankies for reading! Ja ne~!**


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